Hard Ticket to Hawaii (1987)
Starring Dona Speir, Hope Marie Carlton, Ronn Moss, Harold Diamond, and others
Written and Directed by Andy Sidaris
Genre: 80's Action-Exploitation (aka Bullets, Bombs and Boobs)
Rating: 8.3

Dona Speir and Hope Marie Carlton play two agents working for a mysterious government agency. Their main occupation is flying a helicopter with merchandise between two Hawaiian islands in matching SexySafariTM khaki short-shorts, tops, and Gladiator sunglasses. They get naked and make out with their boyfriends of choice in showers and on the beach a lot. They hold important meetings in the jacuzzi, topless, as well. This peaceful existence is disturbed when they accidentally transport a deadly snake who has "been infected with toxins from cancer infested rats" onto the island, rather than just a regular snake. They also have thugs coming after their asses because they took some diamonds that they found in a mini helicopter that had landed on the beach, which belonged to a local crime boss. They work with two male partners (Moss and Diamond), and another girl who communicates with the agency through her post at a bar. Scattered throughout this film are: a cross-dressing man posing as a waitress working for the enemy; a skateboard riding hitman who attempts to hide his gun behind a blow up doll (!?); excellent jokes ("You have the best seat in the house. You can sit right here on my face." "Why? Is your nose bigger than your dick?"); excellent one-liners; bad guys who scream like little girls when they see a snake ten yards away, but get shot in the face no problem; racists jokes during a karate practicing scene; A SNAKE WHO COMES BURSTING OUT OF A TOILET; a snake who viciously mauls two honeymooners; believable kidnapping scenes, acting that ranges from decent to atrocious; groovy tunes; wondrous 80's fashion, and really, so much more that has to be seen to be believed. The way the Spanish bad guy delivers his lines is worth the price of the DVD alone. Completely recommended! So bad it's very, very good!