Poison Ivy (1990)
Starring Drew Barrymore, Sara Gilbert, Cheryl Ladd and Tom Skerritt
Directed by Katt Shea
Genre: Erotic thriller
Rating: 8
Poison Ivy is a pretty well-known cult movie that I'd heard a lot about and always wanted to watch. My earliest memories of knowing about this movie were when I was a kid, and whenever I'd play make believe with my friends, I'd always want my name to be Ivy. I remember my mom saying "I don't like that name because it reminds me of when Drew Barrymore played a creepy girl named Ivy in a movie". Well, I was intrigued. And when I later found out that, in addition to Drew, both Cheryl Ladd, who I am a huge fan of from my favorite TV show Charlie's Angels, and Sara Gilbert, who I had a crush on from Roseanne, where in it, I KNEW I had to watch it! And (spoiler alert!) there's some lady kissin'!
Well, unfortunately, it took me a long-ass time to watch this movie. No one seemed to have it. I couldn't find it anywhere to buy, and no one had it to rent, even the hip movie store near my house! Some clips I could find on Youtube only piqued my interest. Eventually I found it at Amoeba Records, and the rest is history.
The movie starts out with Sylvie (Gilbert) sitting on a rock near a creek, writing in her journal about how she's fascinated by Ivy (Barrymore). ("I guess she's short of beautiful. I don't know. Those lips. You know, lips are supposed to be a perfect reflection of another part of a woman's anatomy. Not that I'm a lesbian. Well, maybe I am. No, definitely not."), who at that very moment is swinging on a rope over the creek, lookin' wild and free. A dog is hit by a car in a nearby street, and all the kids rush over to look. They wonder what to do until Ivy takes the matter into her own hands, killing the dog with a blow to the head via a pipe. Later, the two girls meet in the office of their rich private school (Ivy is on scholarship. Sylvie is actually rich.)They chat about how Sylvie's dad is an asshole, and then Ivy asks for a ride home. At Sylvie's house, Ivy meets Sylvie's sickly, bedridden mother (Ladd). Sylvie has a strained relationship with her mom, but after some initial tensions, Sylvie's mom becomes very fond of Ivy. Sylvie and Ivy become closer and closer. Eventually, Ivy has all but moved in, as the aunt she's staying with doesn't care about her. We can see some sexual tensions between Ivy and Sylvie's father, which I'm sure will come to no good. (Hint: I was right.)
Eventually, Ivy and Sylvie hit a rough patch in their relationship. Sylvie is jealous of Ivy having such a close relationship with her family members, especially her dog. Ivy has seduced Sylvie's father while his wife was passed out in the bed (Sylvie is not aware of this)to some cheesy sax music, which will be heard again. One day, Sylvie's mom, depressed due to her illness, is standing on the balcony in her room. Ivy walks in, and sees her, saying, "You think about it sometimes, don't you?" Sylvie's mom admits she has considered suicide a few times. Ivy is now behind her, and suddenly pushes her off the balcony. She is upset, and when Sylvie wanders into the room, she hides. Sylvie believes her mother has committed suicide, and is sad. Ivy convinces her to get into bed with her, and tell her everything she's feeling, like she was her mom. Sylvie is a little weirded out, but complies, finding it soothing.
Now that Sylvie's mom is dead, Ivy is wearing her clothes, and even cleans her car, bringing the urn with Sylvie's mom's ashes to the car. Sylvie sees this, and attempts to intervene, but Ivy convinces her to go for a ride with her, giving her mom's spirit the freedom she craves. On the drive, Sylvie becomes suspicious that Ivy was there when her mom died, as she is singing a song that was playing in her room that day. Ivy becomes upset, and they get into an accident. Ivy comes too, and positions Sylvie in the drivers seat to throw suspicion off herself. Sylvie is taken to the hospital.
At the hospital, Sylvie is becoming very paranoid about Ivy. She sneaks out of the hospital, despite her bloody head and inappropriate attire, and goes back to her house. Due to her head injury, she is experiencing some hallucinations. She walks into her living room, and sees her father having sex with someone, who at first she thinks is her mother, but is actually Ivy. She freaks, and runs out of the room with Ivy following her. Sylvie runs into her mother's room, and sees her mom standing, waiting for her. She approaches her, and her mother embraces her, and then starts making out with her (yes!). Sylvie is freaked out and pushes her away, when she sees that she was actually kissing Ivy. She accuses Ivy of killing her mom, who says that her mother wanted to die, and, "now we can all be a family" or something like that. In a fit of rage, Sylvie pushes Ivy off of the balcony, killing her. She stands crying on the balcony, while her father is in his car staring at Ivy who lies on the sidewalk in front of him. The credits begin as Sylvie states that she still misses "her".
I really like this movie. The genre of "obsessed best friends with somewhat of a lesbian interest in each other can't deal with their emotions and their attachment takes a step too far and turns into a blood bath" has always been a favorite. And, despite the creep dad-and-Ivy angle, Sylvie/Ivy is a relationship that I quite like. (They're hot, obsessed, kiss twice, and sleep in the same bed. Yes please!) Definitely recommended!!
Tuesday, March 31, 2015
Auditions (1978)
Starring Linnea Quigley and others
Featured in the Full Moon Grindhouse Collection
Genre: Erotica (kind of), mockumentary
Rating: 4 1/2
First off, this movie is weird. I want to say that right away. It's also pretty confusing. I'm still not 100% sure what is even happening throughout. Basically, it's a movie about people who come to audition for an adult film. For the longest time, I wasn't sure if it was an actual documentary, or a mockumentary. Some of the scenes seem very real (which I guess is a good thing?). Anyway, the whole movie is people coming (or should I say...walking?) into an audition room, which is either set up as a cheesy love room with a red satin covered bed, or as an s&m dungeon. The person is then addressed by someone who I am presuming is the casting director, or something like that, who is not seen, and is somewhere behind camera. He usually asks them to strip, asks them about their experience, their comfort level, etc. He makes sure they know it's an adult movie they're auditioning for. It all seems pretty professional (and this voice-only guy who plays the casting director is very good. He almost convinced me it was real. You'll see). However, he then starts asking people to masturbate "for the camera", and if they do it, he'll give them a part. We then get a lot of pretty girls (for he never seems to ask the men) masturbating with whips and such (they are instructed to use props from the dungeon set), and thinking about their gynecologists. Apparently, some impressed them more than others, although I could never discern the difference. One man talks about f*cking a girl on the rim of the Grand Canyon; it was very spiritual for him. He gets the part. Every clip is pretty random and disconnected. Then we get some group scenes, where people are auditioning together, and engage in either some s&m, or sexy good times on the bed (I don't think sex is actually happening though...can't really tell). Now let's talk about Linnea Quigley (apparently in one of her earliest roles). She plays a girl auditioning for a role, and must dance nude in the dungeon set. It's kind of unreal. She's very in to it. She gets the part, however, drama ensues when the casting director finds out she in underage. This too seemed very real. Props to the actors? Things get weird when a man repeatedly enters the audition room, while auditions are happening, insisting that he has just the girls for the movie. The casting director must repeatedly ask him to leave.
This movie is okay; I don't really know what else to say about it. Not exactly a case of "so bad it's good", but more like "hmm...am I glad I watched this or not?" It's definitely unique in it's plot and formula. It can be a little boring due to it's lack of plot continuity. Worth a watch, if only to stare with dropped jaw and glazed over eyes. But why else does anyone watch these movies?? Bask in the absurd!
Starring Linnea Quigley and others
Featured in the Full Moon Grindhouse Collection
Genre: Erotica (kind of), mockumentary
Rating: 4 1/2
First off, this movie is weird. I want to say that right away. It's also pretty confusing. I'm still not 100% sure what is even happening throughout. Basically, it's a movie about people who come to audition for an adult film. For the longest time, I wasn't sure if it was an actual documentary, or a mockumentary. Some of the scenes seem very real (which I guess is a good thing?). Anyway, the whole movie is people coming (or should I say...walking?) into an audition room, which is either set up as a cheesy love room with a red satin covered bed, or as an s&m dungeon. The person is then addressed by someone who I am presuming is the casting director, or something like that, who is not seen, and is somewhere behind camera. He usually asks them to strip, asks them about their experience, their comfort level, etc. He makes sure they know it's an adult movie they're auditioning for. It all seems pretty professional (and this voice-only guy who plays the casting director is very good. He almost convinced me it was real. You'll see). However, he then starts asking people to masturbate "for the camera", and if they do it, he'll give them a part. We then get a lot of pretty girls (for he never seems to ask the men) masturbating with whips and such (they are instructed to use props from the dungeon set), and thinking about their gynecologists. Apparently, some impressed them more than others, although I could never discern the difference. One man talks about f*cking a girl on the rim of the Grand Canyon; it was very spiritual for him. He gets the part. Every clip is pretty random and disconnected. Then we get some group scenes, where people are auditioning together, and engage in either some s&m, or sexy good times on the bed (I don't think sex is actually happening though...can't really tell). Now let's talk about Linnea Quigley (apparently in one of her earliest roles). She plays a girl auditioning for a role, and must dance nude in the dungeon set. It's kind of unreal. She's very in to it. She gets the part, however, drama ensues when the casting director finds out she in underage. This too seemed very real. Props to the actors? Things get weird when a man repeatedly enters the audition room, while auditions are happening, insisting that he has just the girls for the movie. The casting director must repeatedly ask him to leave.
This movie is okay; I don't really know what else to say about it. Not exactly a case of "so bad it's good", but more like "hmm...am I glad I watched this or not?" It's definitely unique in it's plot and formula. It can be a little boring due to it's lack of plot continuity. Worth a watch, if only to stare with dropped jaw and glazed over eyes. But why else does anyone watch these movies?? Bask in the absurd!
Monday, March 30, 2015
That 70's Girl (2003)
Starring Misty Mundae, AJ Khan, Julian Wells, and Kelli Summers (and some really creepy old guy)
Directed by Johnny Crash
Genre: Erotica
Rating: 6
If any of you have not seen an e.i. Independent Cinema, Seduction Cinema or Misty Mundae movie, you might be unprepared for what ensues once you press play. I know I was surprised by the extreme low quality the first time I watched one! However, I have come to realize they're not that bad... They're kind of interesting if you're a fan of extreme B level movies, pretty girls, and lesbian sex. And Misty Mundae really is all she's cracked up to be (imo). Her naturalness is a breath of fresh air in this genre. She's really quite hot. I like a lot of the other actresses as well.
Some of the problems I have with the movies, however, is that they don't keep everything erotic--they will mix erotica with weird things, like toothless old men, hot pink giant monkey suits, and 35 year old bullies--how is that cute?? Oh, well, it's mostly worth it I guess. I have seen several movies during the golden Misty Mundae age (does anyone know if this company is still making movies?), and have started to appreciate them more and more. Several of the actresses are not too bad at all (specifically I would include Misty, AJ, and Julian, all of whom are in this movie.) The thing I like most about them is that they're strictly erotica, not porn, meaning no one is actually having sex, and there are no crotch shots. (Porn is not really my thing, but I will watch and review some.) The stories can be interesting and sometimes sexy, if not bizarre. Occasionally you'll come upon a real gem. So without further ado, let's get into That 70's Girl...
That 70's Girl takes a slight departure from SC's other movies in that it is not horror, or a parody of a well known movie. It is it's own creation. Kelli and Julian play two uptight sisters, who for financial reasons need to find a roommate. They interview several people, non of whom are suitable (read=toothless pedophile) and then finally come to Petal (Mundae), a modern day hippy. Her and her hippy girlfriend Mandy (Khan), eventually get the two sisters to loosen up and enjoy some free lesbian love, 70's style.
The video is pretty light on plot, and heavy on sex. Some of it is kind of hot (especially the first scene between Mundae and Khan), however they are very, veryyyyyyyyy long. Too long. All of the scenes are in slow motion, which of course make them even longer. And the scenes don't change too much, pretty much repeating themselves. The threesome scene that occurres somewhere in the middle could have been much, much more interesting. I mean, think of the possibilities...! Anyway, on the plus side, the acting was okay, and Misty was literally perfect as Petal, because she's such a hippy herself. I bought the movie for $2.99 (I have no idea why it was so cheap, all of her other movies are insanely expensive for what they are!) and it was worth it. It's a pretty good little video with an okay plot, some sex, and Misty Mundae. Plus, the special features: behind the scenes of the movie (pretty cool), Misty's trailer vault (always useful) and a full-length vintage erotica film entitled Dr. Christina of Sweden (1970) which was all right, alternating between being boring, good, and bizarre (masturbating with a shoe!). Anyway, all in all, I would recommend checking out this DVD, or any other Seduction Cinema videos for that matter, if you can find them for the right price. Just be prepared. Keep those expectations low.
Starring Misty Mundae, AJ Khan, Julian Wells, and Kelli Summers (and some really creepy old guy)
Directed by Johnny Crash
Genre: Erotica
Rating: 6
If any of you have not seen an e.i. Independent Cinema, Seduction Cinema or Misty Mundae movie, you might be unprepared for what ensues once you press play. I know I was surprised by the extreme low quality the first time I watched one! However, I have come to realize they're not that bad... They're kind of interesting if you're a fan of extreme B level movies, pretty girls, and lesbian sex. And Misty Mundae really is all she's cracked up to be (imo). Her naturalness is a breath of fresh air in this genre. She's really quite hot. I like a lot of the other actresses as well.
Some of the problems I have with the movies, however, is that they don't keep everything erotic--they will mix erotica with weird things, like toothless old men, hot pink giant monkey suits, and 35 year old bullies--how is that cute?? Oh, well, it's mostly worth it I guess. I have seen several movies during the golden Misty Mundae age (does anyone know if this company is still making movies?), and have started to appreciate them more and more. Several of the actresses are not too bad at all (specifically I would include Misty, AJ, and Julian, all of whom are in this movie.) The thing I like most about them is that they're strictly erotica, not porn, meaning no one is actually having sex, and there are no crotch shots. (Porn is not really my thing, but I will watch and review some.) The stories can be interesting and sometimes sexy, if not bizarre. Occasionally you'll come upon a real gem. So without further ado, let's get into That 70's Girl...
That 70's Girl takes a slight departure from SC's other movies in that it is not horror, or a parody of a well known movie. It is it's own creation. Kelli and Julian play two uptight sisters, who for financial reasons need to find a roommate. They interview several people, non of whom are suitable (read=toothless pedophile) and then finally come to Petal (Mundae), a modern day hippy. Her and her hippy girlfriend Mandy (Khan), eventually get the two sisters to loosen up and enjoy some free lesbian love, 70's style.
The video is pretty light on plot, and heavy on sex. Some of it is kind of hot (especially the first scene between Mundae and Khan), however they are very, veryyyyyyyyy long. Too long. All of the scenes are in slow motion, which of course make them even longer. And the scenes don't change too much, pretty much repeating themselves. The threesome scene that occurres somewhere in the middle could have been much, much more interesting. I mean, think of the possibilities...! Anyway, on the plus side, the acting was okay, and Misty was literally perfect as Petal, because she's such a hippy herself. I bought the movie for $2.99 (I have no idea why it was so cheap, all of her other movies are insanely expensive for what they are!) and it was worth it. It's a pretty good little video with an okay plot, some sex, and Misty Mundae. Plus, the special features: behind the scenes of the movie (pretty cool), Misty's trailer vault (always useful) and a full-length vintage erotica film entitled Dr. Christina of Sweden (1970) which was all right, alternating between being boring, good, and bizarre (masturbating with a shoe!). Anyway, all in all, I would recommend checking out this DVD, or any other Seduction Cinema videos for that matter, if you can find them for the right price. Just be prepared. Keep those expectations low.
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