Auditions (1978)
Starring Linnea Quigley and others
Featured in the Full Moon Grindhouse Collection
Genre: Erotica (kind of), mockumentary
Rating: 4 1/2

First off, this movie is weird. I want to say that right away. It's also pretty confusing. I'm still not 100% sure what is even happening throughout. Basically, it's a movie about people who come to audition for an adult film. For the longest time, I wasn't sure if it was an actual documentary, or a mockumentary. Some of the scenes seem very real (which I guess is a good thing?). Anyway, the whole movie is people coming (or should I say...walking?) into an audition room, which is either set up as a cheesy love room with a red satin covered bed, or as an s&m dungeon. The person is then addressed by someone who I am presuming is the casting director, or something like that, who is not seen, and is somewhere behind camera. He usually asks them to strip, asks them about their experience, their comfort level, etc. He makes sure they know it's an adult movie they're auditioning for. It all seems pretty professional (and this voice-only guy who plays the casting director is very good. He almost convinced me it was real. You'll see). However, he then starts asking people to masturbate "for the camera", and if they do it, he'll give them a part. We then get a lot of pretty girls (for he never seems to ask the men) masturbating with whips and such (they are instructed to use props from the dungeon set), and thinking about their gynecologists. Apparently, some impressed them more than others, although I could never discern the difference. One man talks about f*cking a girl on the rim of the Grand Canyon; it was very spiritual for him. He gets the part. Every clip is pretty random and disconnected. Then we get some group scenes, where people are auditioning together, and engage in either some s&m, or sexy good times on the bed (I don't think sex is actually happening though...can't really tell). Now let's talk about Linnea Quigley (apparently in one of her earliest roles). She plays a girl auditioning for a role, and must dance nude in the dungeon set. It's kind of unreal. She's very in to it. She gets the part, however, drama ensues when the casting director finds out she in underage. This too seemed very real. Props to the actors? Things get weird when a man repeatedly enters the audition room, while auditions are happening, insisting that he has just the girls for the movie. The casting director must repeatedly ask him to leave.

This movie is okay; I don't really know what else to say about it. Not exactly a case of "so bad it's good", but more like "hmm...am I glad I watched this or not?" It's definitely unique in it's plot and formula. It can be a little boring due to it's lack of plot continuity. Worth a watch, if only to stare with dropped jaw and glazed over eyes. But why else does anyone watch these movies?? Bask in the absurd!